He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
