Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize