i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
