I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
