Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
