Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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