Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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