kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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