Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
