if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
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