He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
