I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
