can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
