I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
