Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
