I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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