For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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