If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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