In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Randomize
