Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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