Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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