2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
How naked do you want me to be?
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
