i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
My butt remains clenched, sir.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
