We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
