I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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