My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
