We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
