I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
