Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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