I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
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