Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
