And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
