Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
