dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
