Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I deserve this hangover.
Your penis caused this!
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