We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize