Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
