the new term for farting is butt boxing.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
