I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
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