I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
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