Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
