??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
