hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Randomize
