I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
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