I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
