I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
