I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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