C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Me too!
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
This is the high leading the old right now
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
