Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize
