Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
