I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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