I think scott just propositioned me for sex
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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