thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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