chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize