I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
