she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
