i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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