ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Randomize
