Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
